A Little Tale Department…

I was talking to a friend from out of town the other day and the subject of water rates and garbage collection fees came up.  He hasn’t been to Peoria in over 30 years and he was telling me in the private community where he lives, they are adding on a flat $25 fee plus usage for water.  He also noted that his garbage collection fee is going up again.

I told him here in Peoria, our garbage collection is incorporated into our property tax bills. He said that would be nice as he would have one less bill to pay each month.  I also told him that we pay a Garbage Fee of $6 which is added to our water bills.  He asked if this was for the lease of special totes.  No, I told him the fee doesn’t even go to garbage collection but it goes to the city’s general operating fund.  I told him that if one fails to pay this $6 added to the water bill, our water company can shut off your service. I went on to inform him that the city pays approximately $88,000 a year for our water company to bill and collect this fee for them.

He look at me like I just landed from another planet.  “Let me get this straight.  You pay a fee called the garbage fee on your water bill that doesn’t go to garbage collection but instead lands in the city’s general fund so the same politicians that dreamed this fee up can spend it any way they want?”  Yes that is it.  He went on; “How could this possibly have passed the public?”  I said they didn’t ask because it was a service fee, they didn’t have too.  They voted and we have it only I told him that it used to be a 4 month billing where the water company would add $24 to your water bill every 4th month.  But the water company behind closed doors bitched that it was too costly to change their billing software every 4th month to bill for this fee.  They wanted a monthly billing so they could just “plug” in an amount and be done with it.

So after hearing that, a few council members were worried that the water company might say “screw it”, collect it yourself and not having any other way of collecting this fee other than hiring a mailing and billing company at more of a cost, they decided to make it monthly. 

So, someone on the council had to act like they grew a heart and that was Turner.  One of our long time council members.  He announced that because the elderly were having a tough time paying that $24 every 4 months, it would be easier for their fixed incomes if it was paid at $6 a month.  I remember the council meeting when they change it and I went to challenge that change and I even addressed the council on it only after greasing the palm of my councilman, Gulley, to get floor time.  It was actually Sandberg that got it for me.

I called Turner and the rest of the council out saying in effect it was bullshit to change the collection of this fee because whether you take $72 a year from someone 3 times a year or monthly, it’s still $72.  In fact I alluded that the only reason for the change was so the council could up this fee in the future.  Remember, say a $2 increase is only $8 a month and that sounds better than going from $24 to $32 using the quarterly method of payment.  What's 2 bucks right? They voted to bill monthly anyway.

Well my friend said the people of Peoria and the businesses must be pissed about this.  I said, no, businesses don’t pay it only residential customers pay this.  “But don’t businesses use city services like fire and police?” he asked.  I said yes but like sheep to the slaughter house, people just pay it and life goes on.  He looked at me laughing and saying; “For Christ’s sake!  They just bent you guys over, made up a fee, called it a garbage fee and use the money anyway they like and you guys just take it. Wow” 

I told him it gets better. Not only have we become complacent about this unfair tax, they have dreamed up a few more, like the HIZ tax so a developer can build a hotel with our bond money.  Hell I couldn’t go into all that but I did hear from a councilperson who shall remain nameless that Councilman Turner has been advocating raising the garbage fee a few bucks during our recent budget crises.  A few other council persons chirped in that might be a good idea to close the budget gap.  I will clue you in to one council person who thought it was a good idea to raise the garbage fee.  She is the same one who campaigned a few years back to get rid of the garbage fee.  Like that will happen.  Times are hard and I knew this would happen sooner or later as a temporary tax or fee as it was originally called never ever goes away. 

So folks, my friend was completely baffled by this “fee” and our politics here in the corn belt.  He said at least is new flat $25 water fee was going to improve the water lines in his area.  Our Garbage Fee is going…..well. it’s going………well wherever it goes I am sure the big hearted fellow Turner,  will be concerned about our fixed income citizens when he recommends to raise the Garbage fee.  Hey Turner, why don’t you just grease the wheel chair ramps at city hall while you’re at it.  That’ll get those old folks from showing up to complain.  Hey, how about a “walker tax”?  Use a walker?  Pay a fee. 

Sounds stupid doesn’t it?  Think about it.  A Garbage Fee that has nothing to do with garbage collection that when implemented we were told it’s only temporary collected by a company the city wanted to shitcan and take over and yet these same politicians are in bed with so they can collect an unfair tax they call a fee.  I wonder why people don’t show up and show opposition to this fee.  Then I remember.  There is nothing dumber than the public.  People are smart, the public is loaded with dumbasses.  Don’t believe it? They elected Van Auken to another term after lying about getting rid of the garbage fee and poking police officers while drunk and Turner wants to increase the Garbage Fee.  Here we go….. 

You get what you vote for folks!  Vote the same people in over and over again and you all wonder why we are cutting police, cutting city services, and handing out bonds for projects that are not needed.  I didn’t vote for anyone on this council sans Sandberg (which I think is the only sane one there) but like a teenage zit, they are back. Enjoy!

Comedy of Errors Department…

If this whole jail break issue wasn’t so serious it would be laughable.  I mean two dangerous felons escape the fairly new and state of the art Peoria County Jail and they didn’t do it by a paperwork mistake, which has happened in the past.  Nope, the did a Shawshank Redemption style.  Totally unbelievable.  This isn’t the Woodford County Jail or the McLean County jail, this is a faculty located in the middle of a corn field out in the middle of nothing that has razor sharp wire that gleams in the sunlight and fences so high, it makes  deer piss.  They didn’t take Barney’s single bullet.  They didn’t overtake Aunt Bee when she delivered homemade chicken. Hell, they didn’t even carve a gun out of soap.  They simply jackhammered through a concrete ceiling, made a rope out of dozens of bed sheets and walk out during an inmate sleep over. 2 less for breakfast huh?

Let’s review….  First off, these guys aren’t even in the same cell or pod together yet that night they escaped, inmate Cook decides he is sleeping in inmate Fuller’s cell.  The pods are locked yet no one, no jailer no how notices that Fuller apparently is having a sleep over.  I can hear it now. “Hey guys, Fuller is having a sleep over! Get some chips and oh, bring some sheets.”

Sheets?  They made a rope out of bed sheets  so they could climb the TWO STORIES from the roof to the ground to escape.  Now, how many sheets would it take to make a rope strong enough for a 280lb, 6’2” convict to climb down two stories?  My guess, quit a few. Doesn’t anyone at the jail count bed sheets?  I mean really, people have hung themselves with bed sheets.  You would think that accounting for the sheets when they are washed would be a major log entry someplace.  Apparently not.

If this isn’t bad enough, what about cameras? I am sure the jail must have a few of them especially on the building’s corners, right? Doesn’t anyone watch these camera’s.  Look, if you slip and fall going into a business, you can bet a camera caught it. If you rob a gas station, it is on camera.  YouTube is full of business cameras that catch people breaking the law or doing funny things but no camera seem to catch two guys going down a rope made of bed sheets.  Like, “Hey Bill!  Is that a rope hanging off the side of the building?  No, Sam it must be the roofers. Oh Bill, you’re probably right.  Odd.  They are dressed the same way our inmates are.”  Doh!

Now let’s talk about how they got to the roof.  They, either Fuller or Cook or both dug through a concrete ceiling which had to be at least 2 feet thick and most likely had rebar in it.  They did this without any real tools unless they hand out Swiss army knives in the jail.  “Hey Mr. Jailer, can I borrow your Swiss army knife to clip my toenails?”  The jail uses plastic spoons and forks for meals.  I could use those. I want to put in a new driveway.  I’ll take that rented jackhammer back and borrow some plastic spoons like the jail uses.

How in the hell did they pull this off?  It must have taken them months if not over a year to do.  Fuller has been at the jail since 2007.  Cook?  I’m not sure.  Maybe Cook’s family made him a cake for his birthday.  I could see that playing out.  “Look Cook, a cake has arrived for you.  Wow it’s in the shape of a pick hammer.  How imaginative.”

No jailer, no one saw anything.  Nobody running the jail had an idea of what was going on in the upper pods.  Hell they couldn’t even keep track of where these two guys were spending the night.  Who is in charge out there? Mickey Mouse?

Of course the responsibility for scaring half of Peoria not to mention Bellevue and other surrounding communities lies with Sherriff McCoy.  I don’t expect him to resign but he should step into the ass kicking machine and pull the rope a few times.  I do expect some staff or jailers heads to roll.  I also expect the good Sherriff to explain to the citizens of this county what happened right down to how they dug through concrete, made off with bed sheets that held their weight (what? they buy from QVC?) and why not one camera or staff member even noticed this was happening.  We deserve all the details or McCoy doesn’t deserve the job next election.  It says something about his ideology when his staff is apparently comprised of boobs.  Yes, boobs. Whoever was doing security at the jail that early morning wasn’t clearly doing their jobs. 

By the way, how does a confined inmate dispose of probably over 200lbs of broken concrete?  Like… “Hey dude, I found this chunk in my cell.  Would ya pitch it for me?”

Thankfully they caught these assholes without anyone being hurt except maybe the guy they tied up and stole his car.  I guess we all can laugh now huh?  This had to be an inside job and they had to have outside help.  If they didn’t, then our jail is being run by the Keystone Cops.  We might as well order Northern Nights bed sheets and comforters from QVC and get these poor inmates HD Comcast cable TV.  It is obvious this place must be a circus.

Oh and don’t give me that “It’s only one time” bullshit either.  That won’t wash especially if they had killed someone making their get away.  Tell that to the guy whose car was taken.  One time is one time too many.

I’m laughing so hard, it hurts.  Not!

 

UPDATE:  The Sherriff has announced a meeting for his entire staff and is going to review policy that has been in effect for 30 years at the jail!  30 years?  Ya think?  Well no shit Sherlock.  Let’s hope so.  That’s like the Captain of the Titanic re-writing policy on ice berg watches after hitting one. 

Some Tidbits Department…

Ok I had a dumbass award which in this area isn’t easy because of all the choices.  Now I got some tidbits on some news that bothers me….

1. Tazewell County Board members are deciding in their glory that video poker should be banned across their county.  Like video poker is a sin or something that they don’t want to allow.  He guys! Got some religion over there in Tazewell?  Bet you don’t fuck with the video poker machines on the Par-A-Dice which sits in Tazewell.  Nothing like saying don’t gamble here in this bar, go across the street and do it on the boat.

2.  A Peoria Police officer gets basically a slap on the wrist for a DUI.  Claims he had some drinks but taking Lyrica caused him to just freak out. I took Lyrica for 12 months, never freaked out but I guess people are different. The judge called him a poster child for addiction.  Oh and while under arrest, this officer kicked out the rear window of the police car, a felony.  Dismissed and if he’s good, his record will be wiped clean…..so he can go on duty and arrest you someday.

3. It seems Kevin Lyons, our beloved State’s Attorney, you know, the guy that always seems above the rest of us especially if you ask him a question about anything?  Well, this guy, Devear Lewis, pulls out not one but two guns at a church function and starts firing into a crowd outside killing a security guard working the Christian function. The man’s name was Teddy Jackson, a stand out athlete at Manual High School.  For some reason which I am sure is not the fault of Mr. Lyon’s, they have dropped the murder charges to just guilty of a felon with a weapon.  Wow, a felon with a weapon. That, in Peoria, limits it down to just about any felon at anytime.  This most likely means Lewis will be on the streets in a matter of days.  Best bet? Just carry you cash in your shirt pocket.  That way it’ll be ready if he picks you to rob.  Must be a reason for this screwy plea.

4. It’s amazing.  A church function.  Fights break out, at a church function.  Almost everyone there has a gun, at a church function.  Many witnesses see guns all over the place, at a church function.  A convicted felon has two guns and fires into the crowd, at a church function.  Nobody can remember shit.  3 people hit by bullets, one dies, at a church function.  Felon goes free.  Witness’ memories go south.  I stay home and read the bible thank you.

5. MY God, the war is getting worse.  A friend of mine who has seen the war first hand and up close said that they used to simply fire shots at random at you are maybe a group would drive by firing shots.  Now they will throw molotov cocktails at you or where you are sleeping.  One local family is afraid to let their children out for any length of time.  In talking with the mother, she says you can hear gunshots all day but at night it seems worse.  Her sons were beaten to an inch of their lives and she fears her daughter might be raped while out getting food.  This war must end.  Afghanistan? Nope, the East Bluff of Peoria.  And we are cutting police……

6. Speaking of gunfire, over on Flora Street, shots rang out.  That is off of Main Street.  Shots were fired around 10:30 at night towards a home. 14 shell casings were found by police. 14!  Good God.  Is this Dodge City or what?  What made things easier was that new ornamental lighting was installed on this street some time ago.  This made finding those shell casings much easier for our police.  Yep, install ornamental lighting, the neighborhood improves. Thank God aren’t cutting police.  No wait….we are! 

Don’t get me wrong folks.  All cities have their crime and their problems.  We have our gangs, Tazewell has their meth labs.  Gambling, bullets, deer running amok.  At least we here can try and make our corner of the world a little safer.  One would think that would be by backing the police and beefing them up while others think safer means a skywalk from the hotel to the convention center.  Too bad that those who think skywalks are the ones in charge. 

First Annual Dumbass of the Year Award…

This is my first annual dumbass of the year award which here in Peoria, shouldn’t be to hard to find nominees.  Hell, it will be hard not to make this an annual award with so many dumbasses running about.

This is Mr. Nicholas Humes, alleged armed robber of Buffalo Wild Wings in Peoria.  He was the passenger driven by his lovely accomplice who remains unknown to the public and who also ran from the scene after the car they were in crashed at Bradley causing a lockdown of the Bradley campus just when many beer parties were letting out and when city councilpersons are known to wander drunk.  

Mr. Humes is currently being held at the county jail and I hope that frickin neck brace hurts.  Too bad it wasn’t a body cast dumbass.

I’d say get well soon Nick but I won’t after the fear and pain you and your boyfriend dumped on employees of the business you allegedly robbed and how unsafe you made the streets of Peoria has you fled in your car.  Don’t drop the soap!
Oh, and OSF, make sure this fucker gets the hospital bill.  I don’t want honest hard working citizens paying for his stupidity. 

I Hit it Big Department…

I’m a millionaire!!  Yes indeed.  Well if you use the logic of the museum people I am.  After all, they are ready to go with that great museum. They got the money but they are a little short.  1.2 million dollars short but it’s a go! 

Using that logic, I am a millionaire!  Just short 1.2 million is all.

The Future Department…

Now that our city leaders have seen fit to cut of all things, police and police services, I thought it would behoove me to let my readers in on what they may expect down the road in a few years and after more cuts in non vital areas such as, well, police services continue.  After all, robberies happen, shootings happen, car jacking happens, fights break out at bars.  But nothing beats a great sunset blocked by a brand new hotel shimmering off the twinkling light, sunlight that is, as street lights don’t need to be repaired either.

So, if you pick up your phone and call the police, this is what you might hear….

Hello! You have reached the Peoria Police Emergency line.  Crime is important to us.  Please listen carefully as the menus have changed.

For English………………Press 1

If you’re Lebanese, hang up an dial 911

If you are a hostage……………Press 2

If you are holding hostages……………Press 3

If you are armed……………….Press 4

If you just robbed a bank or business……….Press 5

If you were just robbed or shot……………..Press 6

If you wish to report a burglary or break in……….Press 7

So, let’s say you are robbed and shot:   DINNNNNNG!  (Pressing 6)

Hello!  You have reached the robbery and shooting victim division. Your crime is important to us.

If you are bleeding………………….Press 1

If you are not bleeding………………Press 2

If you need an ambulance………………….Press 3

If you are about to pass out………Press 4 now

If you would like to request a special officer and know their side business number, you may dial that now…………..

If you are a City Council member and this is an emergency…….Press 0

DINNNNNNNNNNNG  (Pressing 0)

Goodbye…

Garbage Fee Anyone Department…

Our City Council decided the other day to make some tough choices so they can balance the budget out. One of those choices was to eliminate at least 17 police officers and more depending on who spins it.  The City claims it had no choice and the police union says it had no choice as wage freezes could go on for years. 

The truth of the matter is simple.  The city and the police just signed a contract last June.  This is after the fact that the old contract had been expired for months and months.  The police union was frustrated with the city’s slow bargaining or lack there of and of course the city was pissed that the police were holding out as it were.  In the meantime, no officers received a raise or a COLA for over a year.  This pissed a lot of officers off and never mind that fact that it’s a family affair at the Mayor’s office and firefighter’s union.

So the animosity was there between the two long before the city’s financial woes. Don’t let the press releases shit you.  City of Peoria thinks it’s police force is overpaid and the police think our City leaders are full of shit.  Crime?  What crime.  That’s backseat crap now. Pardon the pun because you just might have a backseat robber after your next mall visit.

This all got me to wondering about the Garbage Fee we all pay on our water bills under threat of shut off if we don’t.  Funny how the water company a few years back as been seen as Satan and now the same city leaders are sleeping with them.  Anyway, this garbage fee that doesn’t go to garbage collection but is supposed to go to public safety or to keeping police officers on the streets is still being taxed.  Now, with the down scaling of the police department, are we getting rid of the garbage fee?  Why the hell not? It was touted as a temporary tax when Ransburg clan announced it.  Laughable. A temporary tax.  That’s funny.

If not, then where is that money collected being spent?  Anyone? If that money is indeed being used to keep officers on the job, then why not raise it 2 bucks and keep more on the job?  It’s an ugly unfair tax that I have felt was jammed down our throats and to slap us all in the face it was named a garbage fee but if it is helping to keep police on the streets, why not up it.  It’s not like you are upping the property tax?  Of course only residential water users are being taxed the garbage fee, not places like hospitals and businesses that use police services are being taxed.  That alone doesn’t seem fair.

So, we are going forward with an under funded museum, probably going to sell bonds to fund a $40 million hotel, paying for an empty Mid-Town Plaza, and with crime all over the city from Wall-Mart on Allen Rd to the shores of Tripoli, we cut back police, reduce snow routes, and nobody can say where is that garbage tax money going?