Unless you were hiding in a cave yesterday, you may have noticed Peoria got slammed by the biggest snow storm so far this season. Did the NWS predict this? Sort of in an odd way but no Winter Storm watches or warnings were ever issued. Not a one. Kind of weird isn’t it? An advisory was all that was issued for an area that got at least 6 inches of snow unless of course you were at Chuck Collin’s house where he stated only 3 inches had fallen in Peoria.
Now I don’t have the specialized equipment Collins over at WEEK/WHOI/BMF and whatever else they own has nor do I have the equipment the weather service in Lincoln has. Both places must be under tents though because I got almost 6 inches of snow and I live in Peoria. My equipment? My mailbox which is free standing on a pole and the snow on top mounts up. Using a 6th grade clear plastic ruler which has butterflies printed on it showed the snow on top of my mailbox to be 6 inches in depth. The other equipment I have? The cat. Through it into the snow and if it’s up to his balls just short of his tail, 6 inches! No Mr. Wizard here needed to see it snowed huh? Yet, still no warnings like the last storm that came through dumping a whole 3inches of snow and the fat chick on 25 telling everyone to stock their car trunks with blanket and food before going to the mall because you could die!
Funny, I have never in my over 50 years of Peoria winters seen or found a car full of skeletons that was trapped by falling snow in Peoria and uncovered in the spring that was on it’s way to the mall. Dead cell phones in their boney hands. But the “sky is falling” mentality appears alive and well on the local otherwise boring news shows. You know, the Live at 5 or Nightside or “We do it all for you!” bullshit lines. Do what? “Big storm hits Peoria! How many inches? Tune in at 10 to find out.” If I hear a storm is coming, I watch 19, then change over to 31, then back to 25, take the forecast, divide by 2, then add one and multiply by 2 and subtract 4 then switch to the Weather Channel for useless crap like Jim Cantore sideways because he is in a hurricane. No useful info there. Make sense? Neither do the forecasts we get from these people.
So, despite the fact that I heard the storm was going to hit Thursday night and into Friday (it didn’t) and that I heard that the 2 lows didn’t combine so we are only getting 2 inches, (The Weather Channel), didn’t happen, driving around Peoria was interesting to say the least Friday afternoon when the snow started to really come down. Here's what I saw on my 5 mile trip home from work at 2pm.
First, 2 cars slid into each other side by side and went through the intersection of Glen and University, slammed into the curb and hit a parked car at Subway. Why? I couldn’t figure it out how that happened. Then while traveling south on University nearing Lake, I watched a car turning left slide, miss the turn and hit that raised curb bouncing and probably breaking something underneath. Why? Well, one needs to hurry and turn left in front of a racing fire truck with it’s siren and lights going. It was going to that accident at Glen.
Ok, at the scenic red light which I call War Memorial light where one can idle away a half a tank of gas waiting for the green, nothing but impatient drivers. The light goes red for the left turn arrow and yet 4 cars go through which holds up the cars that do have a green light. At the Chinese buffet on University, an idiot in a black Trail Blazer with full tinted windows tried to turn left into the buffet from north bound University. He also over judged his speed and missed but his miss was far better in that he sped up went through the lawn of the buffet just missing the little trees and then back into the wrong lanes of University across the line and into the proper north bound lanes like nothing happened. Amazing.
Now by the grace of God I got the green light at Forrest Hill and was starting to make good time but what happens? The light at McClure is on goofy mode again and changes red and it stays red for almost 3 minutes! No traffic on McClure, just stayed red. So long, I thought I was going to have to get out and clear the snow off my back window. WTF is wrong with traffic lights in Peoria when it gets wet out? Because when that finally went green, there was a whole slew of cars backed up and we raced for the Nebraska light like it was NASCAR and I had the pole position. Not a good position to have while driving a VW Bug but if I had the Chevrolet Stay-Free Maxi Pad, Pennzoil number 3 car, I’d been ok. Yeah, like anybody gets the green at Nebraska.
And I would have been ok except for that shitty frickin traffic light on the south end of the University overpass that’s on the incline. It is turning red for no reason what so ever. Stopping the pack right on a snowy, slippery incline. To the IDOT engineer that designed that light, I say rot in hell! Yes, when it decided to grace us with a green, we all slipped sideways trying to make the incline just avoiding accidents so we could race 50 ft. to the red light at Columbia Terr. Now the snow is really starting to come down and I have noticed that I haven’t yet to see a city plow. None. Odd.
Right turn onto Main street and the traffic is heavy. It slows down and stops. Why? because the light at the Bradley parking deck is nuts too. It’s flipping red every 10 seconds backing up Main Street in both directions. Farmington Road hill is backed up because the Bradley light has cars backed up through that intersection. What a cluster fuck. Doesn’t anyone in traffic engineering read the instruction book on these traffic lights? Can’t that Bradley light be flashing yellow and only used when games are there at the Field house or when someone needs to cross the street, usually in spandex riding a bike pulling a $300 baby stroller behind them. You know why it can’t be blinking yellow? Because whatever Bradley wants, Bradley gets. Someone is blowing someone at City Hall.
After getting through that, I noticed it has taken me almost 30 minutes to travel a short 4 miles. It is snowing though and I marvel at the fact that it is Christmas Eve and people driving either have no lights on or if they do have their headlights on (required by law) they are snow covered and unseen because they were too lazy to properly clear their car off. Yes some people do have their cars properly cleared of snow and lights on. Christmas miracles do happen. I turned left onto MLK and headed towards my final stretch. I thought it was over, just get the Bug home and parked, I’ll be ok but noooo. 2 miles and too many idiots left. Approaching what I call “Death Corner” Sterling and MLK, a car wanting to turn right onto MLK slids to a stop, looks, waits until I, going about 30 gets close enough to see the whites of my eyes, then goes. I’m pumping the ABS brakes like a thirsty desert walker would pump a water well. The anti-slide or ESP light is blinking and I am trying to stop from becoming a part of the trunk of this idiot’s car. Then, when I do get control, the good ol one finger comes up from the driver in front who thought maybe I was too close to him. I silently wish he would pull out like that in front of a freight train. That finger is all they would find. Now, you know why I call it Death Corner.
I make it home, the wife has the drive cleared of Chuck Collins’ 3 inches of snow and in for some home made cookies. No work until next year! Let it snow let it snow let it snow. And it does Chuck, it snows about 3 more inches covering the drive again and the cars. Still no sign of a plow and still haven’t got an accurate forecast from any weather people…and so it goes. Winter in Peoria. It sucks but it is Christmas. Happy Holidays folks!
