Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader? District 150 Version….

You’ve surly seen the show or heard of it on TV?  Maybe you even seen or played the game on Facebook.  A contestant is asked questions from the 1st grade through the 4th grade level of learning and then if that contestant makes it, they are asked the big 5th grade question!  As an example, on Facebook, I have played this game and a 2nd Grade Physics question was: “What is the atomic weight of Iridium?”  Really? 2nd graders know this?  I doubt some college physics majors know this but….at any rate I wondered what the learning curve would be in our own District 150 Primary schools would be.  So……Let’s play!

Question 1: 1st Grade Math   “How many grams does your brother get from his key of cocaine?”

a) 1000   b)  500    c)   1008   d) depends on the cut

Question 2: 3rd Grade Physics “How many bullets can you fit normally into a clip of a Glock 9?”

a) 5 rounds b) 7 rounds c) 8 rounds  d) 10+1 rounds

Question 3: 2nd Grade Geography  “If Johnny robs the liquor store, what is the proper name for the small street behind the liquor store he uses to make his escape?”

a) alley    b) walkway)     c)parkway      d) driveway

Question 4: 4th Grade Science  “After breaking into your neighbor’s house, you steal their x-box.  Will it work at your house?

a) depends if you dropped it out the window  b) it might be password protected   c)  forget that! You sell it to the snitch up the street   d) yes, it should work and you should invite your neighbor over to play.

Question 5: English  “What is the proper greeting for your teacher in the morning?” 

a) Good morning Mrs. Jenkins   b) yo Bitch! Keep ya hands off me  c) Fuck you, I’m late   d) wasup pimps?

…and now the big 5th Grade Question!  Humanities

“How many years will you be sentenced if you robbed the Knoxville BP AMOCO and do not show a weapon but imply you have one?”

a) 1 to 3   b) 2 to 5, you were on parole  c) 10 years You just got released  d) none, you get a slap on the wrist until you are arrested again for a drive by shooting.

ANSWERS:

Q1:  Correct is '”c” 1008 but you get your ass kicked for getting in your bro’s business.

Q2:  Correct is “d”  You can get 10 rounds + 1 in the chamber. That way you don’t have to aim.

Q3: Correct is “a”  alley.  What the fuck, this is the hood! That’s what alleys are for.

Q4: Correct is “c”  Really you sell it cause you need some weed. You invite the neighbor over to watch the flat screen you stole from him 2 weeks earlier.

Q5:  Correct is “c” is the most acceptable because shit man, your Ho and you were out late last night and getting to school on time is a bitch. Of course, so is the teacher when she marks you tardy.

The 5th Grade Answer is: All of them really but in our court system the likely correct answer would be “d”  you get slapped on the wrist and released back into the wild. That way, the police at least get to know you by first name. 

So are you smarter than a fifth grader?